Back to Georgia

Two days ago, I returned to the Adventures in Missions (AIM) office in Gainesville, Georgia. The last time I drove into the AIM parking lot was for a squad “reunion.” The World Race was hard, but for me coming off the field was harder. To be reunited with those people who understood that first hand was a great feeling.

Two days ago, I returned. This time it was for leadership training for my trip to Thailand with the Passport (college aged) program. Pulling into that familiar parking lot I felt both excited and nervous. Thoughts of “Am I cut out for leadership,” “Will my team like me,” “Am I going to help them grow” filled my head. They were all selfish questions really. All of them involved me and my abilities…nowhere in the equation did I have the brains of the operation. I learned over the last year that God is “I AM.” In all the ways that I am not, HE IS. He made me the way He did. He knows my shortcomings and He knows where I will fail. It would be foolish to think that I’ll never fail.

Yesterday, we had some free time to spend with the Lord before we started training for the day. I've had three months’ worth of “stuff” to deal with and hand over to the Lord. I made quite a lengthy list of the things I could think of that were preventing me the intimacy I've craved for months with my Father. A weight was instantly lifted off of my shoulders. We forget a lot of times that we aren't supposed to carry burdens, and once we release those we are like new people.

One of our sessions yesterday covered boundaries, loads, and burdens. I laughed because I knew this was something the Lord had been trying to teach me for months now. Sorry to the two people who tried to make me see this all summer. I can’t run anymore. I won’t run anymore. One of the things that hit me the most this week was this quote, “We often carry our futures as if it’s our responsibility not His…I don’t need to know. I need to obey.” It’s really that simple. I get so caught up in worrying and the “what if’s” that I forget God already has my life plan. Everything is already mapped out. He’s not going to keep that plan from me. He wants me to have it. But He wants me to seek Him in everything I do so He can lead me to it.

I opened to my devotions and read Matthew 6:25-34. Fitting I’d say. After I read it a few times and meditated on it, the Lord said so sweetly to me, “Your Heavenly Father knows what you need.” When you come across something over and over and try to dismiss it as coincidence, reevaluate and see what it is He’s trying to teach you. There’s a lesson in there somewhere. Don’t wait months before you embrace it.