Back to Georgia

Two days ago, I returned to the Adventures in Missions (AIM) office in Gainesville, Georgia. The last time I drove into the AIM parking lot was for a squad “reunion.” The World Race was hard, but for me coming off the field was harder. To be reunited with those people who understood that first hand was a great feeling.

Two days ago, I returned. This time it was for leadership training for my trip to Thailand with the Passport (college aged) program. Pulling into that familiar parking lot I felt both excited and nervous. Thoughts of “Am I cut out for leadership,” “Will my team like me,” “Am I going to help them grow” filled my head. They were all selfish questions really. All of them involved me and my abilities…nowhere in the equation did I have the brains of the operation. I learned over the last year that God is “I AM.” In all the ways that I am not, HE IS. He made me the way He did. He knows my shortcomings and He knows where I will fail. It would be foolish to think that I’ll never fail.

Yesterday, we had some free time to spend with the Lord before we started training for the day. I've had three months’ worth of “stuff” to deal with and hand over to the Lord. I made quite a lengthy list of the things I could think of that were preventing me the intimacy I've craved for months with my Father. A weight was instantly lifted off of my shoulders. We forget a lot of times that we aren't supposed to carry burdens, and once we release those we are like new people.

One of our sessions yesterday covered boundaries, loads, and burdens. I laughed because I knew this was something the Lord had been trying to teach me for months now. Sorry to the two people who tried to make me see this all summer. I can’t run anymore. I won’t run anymore. One of the things that hit me the most this week was this quote, “We often carry our futures as if it’s our responsibility not His…I don’t need to know. I need to obey.” It’s really that simple. I get so caught up in worrying and the “what if’s” that I forget God already has my life plan. Everything is already mapped out. He’s not going to keep that plan from me. He wants me to have it. But He wants me to seek Him in everything I do so He can lead me to it.

I opened to my devotions and read Matthew 6:25-34. Fitting I’d say. After I read it a few times and meditated on it, the Lord said so sweetly to me, “Your Heavenly Father knows what you need.” When you come across something over and over and try to dismiss it as coincidence, reevaluate and see what it is He’s trying to teach you. There’s a lesson in there somewhere. Don’t wait months before you embrace it.

Above the Waves

How many times have you dipped your toes in the water along the shoreline of the ocean and watched the tide come and go? You can almost taste the salt water in the air and feel that familiar breeze so normal for beach days. The sun shining down giving your skin that natural glow and the aroma of the coconut sunscreen you lathered onto your skin. The perfect weather for a day at the beach.

What about those days that aren’t so perfect? The ones where the forecasters encourage you to stay indoors; the lightning is simply too dangerous. Or what about when the rip currents are so strong swimming becomes a risk not worth taking. It’s hurricane season, the storms are brewing, and the waves are reaching far above 15 feet…now what?

Life can oftentimes be described as one of these scenarios. Some days the sun shines while other days it’s a struggle to keep your head above water. What happens when the waves appear to be overtaking you? Your eyes have wandered and you are lost in the storm…

When our focus is taken off the Lord, we become easily distracted, discouraged and soon doubt what our Creator, God of the Universe, is capable of.

While Jesus and his disciples were crossing the Sea of Galilee, a storm came upon them and tossed their boat around. Jesus was asleep and the disciples panicked. They took their eyes off of the Lord and focused them on the storm around them. They were distracted. They begged Jesus to save them. “We are perishing,” they said. They are now also discouraged. Being distracted and discouraged leads to doubting who God is and whether He cares.

Need another example? Look at the story of Mary and Martha. Martha became too consumed with a works mentality that she was distracted with serving instead of sitting in the presence of God. “Don’t you care?” She became discouraged and soon doubted God’s love for her.

I am so quick to look at the chaos constantly surrounding me as opposed to shifting the direction of my eyes to be focused on the Lord. Something so simple could save so much worry. Why is it so hard for us to release control to God? How much better would our lives be if we just sat with our fists unclenched, letting go of all the distractions?

The Lord has been taking me on an incredible journey of finding intimacy with Him. I’m working on relinquishing all of the things I feel entitled to be in charge of in my life. Is it really my life after all? How much better will it be if I just give over control in all areas? He’s proven His loyalty. He’s proven His trustworthiness. He has taught me to dream big and love well. He has given me a heart for His people. He has called me to serve anyone and everyone I meet. He told me to go to the nations and build community. He has asked me to fix my eyes on Him and keep my head above the waves.

Follow me on this journey of learning how to enjoy my Heavenly Father while fulfilling his purpose for my life.